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Bumping Bullet # 2

April 26, 2013

So how is it going in your tight space called “a home” with your people to bump into called    “family”? As I blogged about “Bumping Into Each Other,” I had a couple more “bumping bullets” to share that Don and I have learned over the past 50 years together.

Bumping Bullet # 2:  Learn to really talk to each other.

I’m not referring to chatting about events and issues but digging a little deeper to share how you feel inside about them. I suggest you talk together and agree to both take turns to listen to and share how each of you feels and thinks about a situation. I’m sure you have heard that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a good reason. Often I’ve found that a disagreement is diverted when we take the time to find out what is really going on in the other person’s head and heart. In our case, we’ve learned we often don’t know why the other person has a certain view until we dig a little and ask clarifying questions.

Here’s a little exercise my friend Ben shared a few years back.  I challenge you to test drive using “The Daily Four” and take turns with this sharing and listening exercise for a week and see what happens.

The Daily Four

  • What are you feeling?
  • What do you appreciate about your partner?
  • What are you thankful for?
  • Then pray together even if it is a sentence or two.

Sometimes amazing as it may seem, trying a little  something different works and draws us closer together!

If it doesn’t work and you are at a standstill or your partnership is going downhill, don’t hesitate to get a little outside help. Try something new, read a good book or article and share with it with each other or get help from another couple, a wise friend, counselor or pastor if you need it (and we all could use help at times). I agree with whoever said that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  Do whatever it takes. There is a lot of life ahead to live.

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